A state trooper pulled a car over on a lonely back road and
approached the blonde lady driver. “Ma’am, is there a reason
that you’re weaving all over the road?”

The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here! I
almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right
in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree
in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree
in front of me!”

Reaching through the side window to the rear-view mirror, the
officer replied, “Ma’am, that’s your air freshener.”

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a
dark forest. After 15 minutes, the man finally got up and said,
“Damn, I wish I had a flashlight.”

The woman said, “So do I. You’ve been eating grass for the past
ten minutes!”

An old cowboy went into a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat
there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?”

He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch,
herding cows.” He then asked her what she was.

She replied, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking
about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of
women. When I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make
me think of women! ”

A little while later a couple sat down next to the old cowboy
and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?”

He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out that
I’m a lesbian.”