What do micheal Jacson and Tiger Woods have in common?

They both like playing with little white balls

A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he
announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy
weighing 25 pounds. Congratulations showered him from all around,
and many exclamations of “WOW”! were heard.
A woman faints due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returns to the bar.
The bartender says, “Say, you’re the father of the typical Texas
baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?”
The proud father answers, “Seventeen pounds.”
The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. “What happened? He already
weighed 25 pounds at birth.”
The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer,
wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and
proudly says,

“Had him circumcised”

Candy Bar Life

It was just another day and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. I whipped out my Million Dollar Bar and whispered “Hey Sweetheart, how’d you like Crunch on My Big Hunk” she replied “Oh Henry, what a Whopper.”

Well she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll and it was pure Almond Joy. I couldn’t resist her Charms and reached out and grabbed her Mounds, it was easy to see this little Twix had the Red Hots for me. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger slipped into her tight little Kit Kat as she screamed “Oh Henry, Oh Henry” soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and Zagnut’s.
It wasn’t long before I blew my Milk Duds to Mars, which gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked about M&M , but I said “Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff you little Reese’s pieces.Don’t be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don’t you grab my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit ‘O’ Honey”

(What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed “Oh you Cracker Jack, better than the Three Muskteers” as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well I was giving it to her Good ‘N’ Plenty when all of a sudden…my Starburst! Yeah as luck would have it she started to get Chunky, complained of a Wrigley in her stomach and nine months later out popped “BABY RUTH.”