Q:What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant?

A: DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT…….

Q: What did the elephant say when it saw a live ant?

A: It stepped on the ant and then said DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT….

Two hunters are out on a long day in the forest, when one of them has to take a dump. “Go in the bushes,” says the other hunter. “But what’ll I use to wipe with?” “Use a dollar bill. That’s what I do.” So the other hunter goes into the bushes, and comes back with crap all over his hands. “What happened?” asks his friend. “I didn’t have a dollar bill so I used four quarters.”

You might be a redneck if you take a six-pack cooler to church!