QUICK ONES TO MAKE YOU GROAN….
1 Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender.
“I’ll have a glass of blood,” said one. “I’ll have a glass of
plasma,” said the other. “Okay,” replied the bartender,
“That’ll be one blood and one blood lite.”
2 This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says,
“Hey! We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper replies,
“Really? You have a drink named Steve?!”
3 A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”
4 A hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartenders says, “I’m
sorry, but we don’t serve food here.”
5 Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I think I’ve lost
an electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first says,
“Yes, I’m positive.”
6 A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer,” he says. The
bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?”
asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “No charge.”
7 A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre… so
the barman gave her one!
8 Two donkeys walk into a bar and the first donkey says to the
bartender “I’ll have a pint of Bud please” and the second donkey
says “hee haw, hee haw, he always orders that”
9 Four gays in the bar and only one stool. What do they do?
Turn it over!
10 A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the guy:
“Mate, you’ve got a steering wheel down your pants.” The guy
replies “Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!”
11 A dyslexic walks into a bra…
12 A guy walks into a bar and says “I’m so thirsty I could lick
the sweat off a cow’s balls.”
A guy in the corner says “Moooo!”
13 Two condoms walking past a gay bar. One turns to the other and
says “Wanna go get shit faced?”
14 A baby seal walks into a club…
15 What do you call a basement full of women?
A whine cellar!
16 Two gays walking past the funeral parlour, one says “fancy
popping in and sucking down a couple of cold ones?”
17 A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm and
says “two pints please, one for me and one for the road.”
18 Some Bacon and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender stops them
and says “sorry, we don’t serve breakfast in here.”
19 A guy walks into a bar on the moon and says to the bartender
“Hey, there’s no atmosphere in here!”
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