QUICKIES….
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to
hear about all the men she could have married, and she
didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
An elderly woman died last month. Having never
married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her
handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she
wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I
don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.
A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What
would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
He said, “Call for backup.”
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before
she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it
necessary to be quiet in church?”
Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied: “They couldn’t get a
baby-sitter.”
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and
thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou
shall not kill.”
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings. Little Johnny
seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve
was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the
week his mother noticed him lying down as though he
were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little
Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think
I’m going to have a wife.”
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in
the yard and asked his mother, “Who am I? ”
Ready to play the game she said, “I don’t know! Who
are you?”
“WOW!” cried the child. “Mrs. Johnson was right!
She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn’t
recognize me!”
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on
the first day of school: “If you promise not to believe
everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise
not to believe everything he says happens at home.
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