If Men Were to Rewrite “The Rules”

Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule # 2 If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret girls,
don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule # 3 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and
one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 4 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take
those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 5 Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women how can we
know how pretty you are?

Rule # 6 Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

Rule # 7 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want
it done — not both.

Rule # 8 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 9 Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do
we.

Rule # 10 Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their chest stared at.

Rule # 11 When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the
ramp, you saying “This is our exit” is not necessary.