My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go
Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine
is in New York.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I
suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric
bread maker. Then she said, “There are too many gadgets, and no
place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was
water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me,
“In the lake.”

8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t
lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud
fell off.

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for
the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”