SHIT HAPPENS….
COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF WORLD RELIGIOUS (AND OTHER) PHILOSOPHIES…
Taoism:Shit Happens
Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit Happens”
Buddhism:If Shit Happens, it isn’t really Shit
Zen (Rinzai):What is the sound of Shit Happening?
Zen (Soto):Shit just Happens
Hinduism:This Shit Happened before
Sikhism:Leave our Shit alone
Jainism:Don’t accidentally swallow flies and Shit
Islam:If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah
Nation of Islam:Don’t take no Shit!
Hare Krishna:Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama *ding ding*
Agnosticism:Does Shit Happen?
Atheism:No Shit!
Catholicism:Shit Happens because you are BAD
Protestantism:Catholics are full of Shit
Methodism:Let Shit Happen to somebody else
Calvinism:Shit Happens because you don’t work hard enough
Presbyterianism:This Shit was bound to Happen
Episcopalianism:If Shit Happens, hold a procession
Lutheranism:Shit Happens, but as long as you’re sorry, it’s OK
Anglicanism:Shit Happens, but only to Lutherans
Mormonism:Excrement Occurs
Baptist:You’re Shitting all wrong, and you’re going to hell for it, too
Pentacostal:Praise the Shit!
Christian Science:Shit is all in your mind
Existentialism:What is Shit anyway?
Hedonism:There’s nothing like a good Shit Happening
Dadaism:Bathtub full of power tools
Jehovah’s Witness:Knock knock. Shit Happens!
Televangelism:Your tax-deductable donation can prevent this Shit from
Happening
Fundamentalism:There’s no Shit in the Bible
Creationism:Shit has only been Happening since October 23rd, 4004 B.C.
Judaism:Why does Shit always Happen to us?
Reform Judaism:Got any laxatives?
Moonies:Only happy Shit really Happens
Wicca:Shit is part of the Goddess, too
Paganism:Shit Happens for a variety of reasons
Pantheism:It’s all a bunch of Shit
Panentheism:Shit transcends us
Mysticism:This is some weird Shit
Unitarianism:Go ahead, Shit anywhere you want
Vegetarianism:If it Shits, don’t eat it
Scientology:All this Happens to be Shit
Church of the SubGenius:Shit has happened. For $20 “BoB” will sell
you a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT.
Discordianism:Hail Shit!
Seventh Day Adventist:No Shit on Saturdays
Amish:Shit is good for the soil
Stoicism:This Shit is good enough for me
Zoroastrianism:Shit Happens half the time
Rastafarianism:Let’s smoke this Shit
Voodoo:Let’s stick some pins in this Shit
Twelve Step Program:Shit Happens one day at a time
Environmentalism:Shit is biodegradable
New Age:It’s not Shit, it’s feldspar
Similar Funny Jokes:
- THE GREEN SHIT BEHIND THE BAR…. A man walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “Give me a shot of that green shit you ...
- Redneck Letter Dear son, Im writing this slow cause i know you cant read fast. Your pop read that all accidents happen ...
- MILITARY SHIT…. An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15 lb. weapon in hand, after ...
- Ghost shit It was late one night and three guys just got done partying. So they needed to find a motel. So ...
- HOW SHIT HAPPENS…. And the Assumptions were without form And the Plan was completely without substance And the darkness was upon the face ...