SHORT JOKES….
“What’s the idea of calling in sick yesterday?”
“I was sick.”
“You didn’t look sick when I saw you at the racetrack.”
“You should have seen me after the sixth race.”
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the
blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way
home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.
He told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw
them at me, will you?”
“Why do you want me to throw them at you?”
“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”
“Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy.”
“But why?”
“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you
came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers
that for supper tonight.”
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he
pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried
to ‘write’ with it.
Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with
annoyance and said, “Well that’s great, just great…..some
asshole’s got my pen.”
Dirty Johnny is delivering newspapers. He knocks on a door, a lady
answers, and he says, “Collect… that’ll be five dollars.”
She says, “I’m a little short on cash, but if you want, I’ll give you
sex instead.”
Johnny says, “All right.”
He walks in, she undoes his pants, pulls them down, and there’s the
biggest dick she’s ever seen. Johnny reaches into his shirt pocket,
pulls out a handful of huge washers, and starts sliding them onto
his dick.
She says, “You don’t have to do that…I can take all of it.”
He says, “Not for five bucks you can’t.”
After traveling a few blocks, Miss Bigtits realized she had no money
and,immediately informed the driver. “You’d better stop. I can’t pay
you
and it’s ten dollars already,” she said.
The driver checked her out in the rear-vision mirror. “That’s okay,”
he said. “I’ll turn down the first dark street, get in the back seat
and take off your bra.”
“You’d be cheating yourself,” she replied.
“This bra is only worth five dollars.”
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