SHORT JOKES….
What do you get when you cross a telephone pole and a rooster?
A 15-foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.
There are 5 animals one can find on the female body, all below
the waist: she has 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass and 1 fish which
nobody can seem to find.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.
If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the
outside?
K9P.
A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him,
an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond
ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
“This is the Klopman diamond,” she said.
“It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes
with it.”
“What’s the curse?” the man asked.
“Mr. Klopman.”
All politicians should be required to wear a sign around
their necks that lists all the special interest groups that
own them.
Seen on a bumper: GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS:
No shirt, no charge.
My pregnant wife received a prescription to reduce her morning
sickness. The warning label listed possible side affects such
as nausea and vomiting.
A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat
gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the
news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to
console the boy saying, “But don’t worry, the cat is in heaven with
God now.”
The boy replied, “What’s God gonna’ do with a dead cat?”
A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was
obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had
just died.
Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he
said, “I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Kinkaid.
But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only,
the shell–the nut has gone to heaven.”
What do men and beer have in common?
They’re both empty from the neck up.
What is a man’s idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Question for Geeks — Is reading in the bathroom Multi-Tasking?
Remember, A yawn is an honest opinion openly expressed.
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
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