A man is flying over a forest whe his engine suddenly fails. he manages to crash-land saely, but all his survival gear was destroyed in the crash. After days wandering arounf the middlt of nowhere, eating bugs and drinkin pond water, he comes to a giant multi-level chinese pagoda. seeing power lines coming to the house, he decides to ask for help He knocks on the front door and a really old asian man answers the door. the pilot says “im really sorry to bother u, i just need a place to stay for the night, and to use your phone so i can call for help.” The old man lets him in, but stops to set the groundrules for the mans stay “first, dinner is at 6, i expect u to be there, cleaned up please, second, stay away from my granddauhter, shes the only family i have.,lastly, when u go to bed, stay there all night the pilot has no problems wth that, so he went to wash up, and went down for dinner. the granddaughter sat down next to him, nd kept flirting all through dinner. after, he goes to his room, starts thinking ‘what the old man doesnt know wont hurt him. he goes down to the grandaughers room, they have their fun, and he goes back to his room. in the morning, he wakes up with a large rock on his chest, labeled ‘first chinese method chinese torture, 100lb rock on chest He thinks what the fuck is this, he goes to the windowand throws the rock out. as hes watchng the rock fall, he sees a poiece of paper attached to the side of the wall labeled “2nd method of chinese torture, 100lb rock tied to left testicle’. he tries to grab the rock, misses and then jumps out the window after it, thinking that hes only on the second floor, shouldnt be too hurt. on the way down, he sees another paper saying ‘3rd method of chines torture, right testicle tied to bedpost’