THE TELETUBBY HYMN
Mine eyes have seen the Teletubby
And his cutesy little purse.
He wears a purple outfit,
And, dear friends, what’s even worse,
He doesn’t scratch or spit or belch,
He doesn’t even curse.
What kind of guy is he?
CHORUS
Tinky Winky is a fairy.
Moral Morons must be wary.
Ignorance like theirs is scary.
And Tinky Winky’s gay.
I have seen his little triangle
Where it sits upon his head,
And we all know it’s a symbol
For the shame that can’t be said.
Now we have to purge this danger
Or our little boys will wed
A wife whose name is Ed.
CHORUS
His defenders say his purse is nothing
But a magic little bag.
That’s a cover-up, as we all know,
He’s just a little fag!
We cannot let a Teletubby
Appear in purple drag,
Moron Morality.
CHORUS
Yes, they call him Tinky Winky.
Does that name sound straight to you?
If he weren’t homosexual,
His clothing would be blue!
He’s subversive and perverted,
And his pal’s a Laa-Laa, too.
Moron Morality.
CHORUS
We have seen this Tinky Winky
Near the San Francisco bay.
He’s the Marshall of the big parade
They hold on Gay Pride Day.
We’ll all join hands and hold a protest
As we march the Moron way.
Moron Morality.
CHORUS
He’s teaching all our 2 year-olds that gayness is no curse.
He is tearing down the fabric of our moral universe.
If left unchecked, our kids may grow up unperverse.
Moron Morality.
CHORUS
Jerry Falwell is our hero,
He’s the one to lead the fight.
He has seen the truth and spoken out,
He’ll lead us further right,
Where we will join the multitude
Who just ain’t none too bright.
Moron Morality.
CHORUS
In a quiet Southern village Jerry was born into a haze,
With an anger in his bosom that would last him all his days.
As he works to teach us hatred, let us go and bash some gays.
Moron Morality
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