“My fellow citizens” = “Suckers”

“I didn’t inhale” = “I think you’re all idiots”

“goals” = “lies”

“broad-based contributions” = “taxes”

“investing in our infrastructure” = “pork-barrel spending”

“spending cuts” = “decimating the military”

“jobs program” = “military base lay-offs”

“Vietnam” = “where?”

“Attorney General” = “the first semi-qualified woman I could find
without a criminal record”

“God bless America” = “God help us, ’cause I don’t have a clue”