A man who had been called to testify at the Internal Revenue
Service asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear
your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper,” the
accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite
advice. “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant
suit and tie.”

Confused, the man went to his priest, told him of the conflicting
advice, and requested some resolution on the dilemma. “Let me tell
you a story,” replied the priest. “A woman, about to be married,
asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. ‘Wear a heavy,
long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.’ But when
she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. ‘Wear your
most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel.’ ”

Confused, the man asked, “What does all this have to do with my
problem with the IRS?”

“Simple,” replied the Priest. “It doesn’t matter what you wear,
you’re going to get screwed