Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What’s Your
Business Sign?

1) MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are
now. Least compatible with Sales.

2) SALES
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a
degree.” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone
calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid
contact with customers so you can “concentrate on the big picture.”
You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

3) TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
content to completely control everything that happens at your
workplace. Often even YOU don’t understand what you are saying
but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit
the Earth.

4) ENGINEERING
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said
that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be
happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest
“ergodynamic” gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing
your “carpal tunnel syndrome.”

5) ACCOUNTING
The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune
from office politics. You are the most feared person in the
organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits,
the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely
insane.

6) HUMAN RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend
to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only
other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to
return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch
AND then mail a letter.

7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT
Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain
at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you
can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other “Middle Managers”
as everyone in your social circle is a “Middle Manager.”

SENIOR MANAGEMENT
(See above - Same sign, different title)

9) CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking
your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a
little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to
play “Customer Service.” Continually passed over for promotions,
your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

10) CONSULTANT
Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing
your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your
“skills” are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job
with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an
eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever
taking direct action.

11) RECRUITER, “HEADHUNTER”
As a “person” that profits from the success of others, most people
who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and
susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks
correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex
systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.

13) GOVERNMENT WORKER
Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors,
like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep
depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on
the job…Thus the term “GO POSTAL”