1. The Wall Street Journal is read by people who run the country.

2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run
the country.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the
country but don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do,
however, like their smog statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running
the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have
to leave L.A. to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country, and they did a far superior job of it, thank you veddy
much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure
who’s running the country, and don’t really care, as long as they
can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running
the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous,
preferably while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there
is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if
the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs,
who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy as
long as they are democrats.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but need the baseball scores.