WORRIED ABOUT MY REPUTATION….

Dear Abby,

I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in the
suburbs of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in
Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing
and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other
two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two
brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life
sentence in Attica for rape and murder of a teenage boy in
1994. The other brother is currently being held in the
Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three
children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute
who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time “working
girl” in a brothel. However her time there is limited, as we
hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager.

I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our
team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves,
at least it would get them off the street, and hopefully the
heroin…..

Abby, my problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward
to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be
totally honest with her……

Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Gore?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

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